After having this page up for a few years, I am totally amazed at the amount of traffic and mail it generates. Most of the mail is very cool. I have met many metalheads from all over the world with tastes similar to my own. Occassionally I get a letter from someone who 'disagrees' with something I have to say about some disc or band. For the most part I just trash them or ignore them. However, they usually are pretty funny, and in most cases, pretty stupid. So, I decided to start posting these letters. Unfortunately I don't have any of the past letters, but from here on out I will post them as I get them.
Please excuse the foul language, it seems to come from those who have nothing better to do or say than write nasty letters to me.

On Mon Apr 12 20:28
ken turda <thesawisthelaw@yahoo.com>
SUBJECT: Hello, You Suck

With all honesty, there's no better way to describe you and your crappy site...plus add your band, it sucks as well, your vox sounds similar to a drunk and fucked up Zetro, or...uhm were you trying to copy Blitz Ellsworth? Anyways, all of your records sound horribly cheap, you need an expensive studio and a good sound/mixing engineer next time.

Thanks. I hope typing that out made you feel better about yourself.

From: leso poof <lesopoof@hotmail.com>
Sent: Wed May 5 7:55
Subject: No Subject

your cd collection is gay, just like you
you smell like turd, a gay turd
did you pull your cd collection from your ass, cause they're all shit

eat a dick
your mama

I'm sorry your so angry, doesn't your mommy let you out of the house much? Try and have a good day.

On Fri Jan 9 11:56 , 'Dakota Merasty'

why the fuck you don't have that new fucking shit out there, like new metal?
you got cd reviews nobody gives a shit about. like if you want real
people looking at your shitty website you should put up some good new
bands...like don't review shit from the 80's, you fucking fat piece of shit.

My reply:
Hello Dakota,
Considering how many emails I receive from people who appreciate the "shit from the 80's", I think plenty of "real people" look at my site. Besides, bands like Sevendust, Disturbed, Becoming the Archetype, Brand New Sin, Disciple, Black Label Society, etc. are hardly 80's bands. Welcome to the Hall!

On Wed Jan 7 6:46

you a fuking moron!!! you don't konw wat metal is. you should call you sight just NO LIFE because you have none. your an fuking asshole!!!! where r the real metal bands on you site like korn and Slipknot? and fuking DRagonforce pwns ur shitty gay band, you fuking asswipe!!!

My reply:
Enjoy your day at the mall. Say hi to all your friends at Hot Topic.


From: Daniel Middleton <illuminati7777777@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:38
Subject: metal

To: ultmetal@cableone.net

you should change your email address to crappybiasedoldf*ckcritic.com.

My reply:
Funny, but not worth a reply.

From: kabalyu45@hotmail.com
Sent: Fri Aug 1 23:24
Fuck you

Why the hell do you ask for a donation? Do you share your music? LOL get a life you fat beach whale, share first before you ask some money

From: kabalyu45@hotmail.com
Sent: Fri Aug 1 23:29

Donation my ass you fat beach whale, why the fuck do you ask for a donation and yet you don't share your music... greedy fat slob...get a life...
BTW your album sucks...find it on blogspot.com I'll be uploading it soon...Ultimatum, duh

My reply:
No one asked you for a cent. If you don't like my page don't read it. If you don't like my band, don't listen to us. The one who needs to "get a life" is the one wasting his time writing insipid emails like these.

Welcome to the Hall of Shame.


Sat Apr 19, 2008, 20:19

dude...your web site sucks...unless I am the dumbest per son ever........I pulled up zebra and got no songs or anything..what a crappy site..............I will speak to AOL about this.......sorry don't promise if you can't produce.


My reply:
What are you talking about? My site is a personal CD/record collection and review site. I don't offer any music for sale or for download.

Speak to AOL all you want. What do they have to do with me? I don't subscribe to them. I don't use them and they have no power over me whatsoever.


Mon Dec 17, 2007, 2:38

how do have ace freeley as a better guitarist as randy rhoads? also, where
the fuck is smashing pumpkins on ur list? u also dont have the beatles,
which i feel is very ignorant even for a shmuck like u


My reply:
Thanks for your questions. A word of advise, you may want to check your spelling and grammar before calling someone else "ignorant".

I love both Ace Frehley and Randy Rhoads. My list of favorite guitarists has nothing to do with their ability or who is better than who. It's just a list of my personal favorite guitarists and Ace is at the top of the list for me.

Don't care for Smashing Pumpkins.

I do like the Beatles but don't have any on CD. However, I am not a big fan. I respect them for their part in music history and they are mentioned throughout my site. My teenage son plays The Beatles constantly, so I hear them quite often. I am quite familiar with their music and history, so I am hardly ignorant on the subject.


Fri Nov 2, 2007 17:46

Aerosmith sucks.
You suck,
JEROME what what in da house

My reply:
Thanks for sharing your concise, sagacious and thoughtful opinion. Welcome to the hall of shame.

Subject: ???
On Fri Jul 20. 2007 14:29

Just out of curiosity, is it your christian blindness that make you dislike slayer or are you just a few sandwiches shy of a picknick basket? it's amazing to me as a person who claims to love thrash which is obviously the dark side of music that you have yet to reach the age of reason. sorry you had the bible shoved down your throat growing up, i sympathize believe me, but you cannot deny the influence slayer has had on the entire genre and the fact that they are the only band left of the "big four" that hasn't sold out, turned into total crap or had some kind of midlife crisis where they ran away from their roots. the fact that every time they release an album it trumps everything released around the same time should tell you something. if you ask me they are one of the most underappreciated bands in the universe and i look forward to the day they get their place in the rock and roll hall of fame. they may not have been the first thrash band ever but they sure as hell did it louder, faster and better and noone out there holds a candle to them. and i am not a fanatic i am a realist i love just about everything heavy. i just think your unfortunate christian influence is blinding you to the truth. after slayer broke out every band that plays a heavy riff is influenced or in their own way trying to emulate slayer. jesus even kurt cobain thanks slayer as an influence in his albums. i think you need to put the bible away, pop on any one of their albums and just sit back, shut up and enjoy. religious influence or opinion has no place in the underground unless it's being slandered.
Edward M.

My reply:
Hello Edward,
So, are you saying you like Slayer? LOL!

Seriously, where did I say I disliked Slayer? Where did I discredit them and say they weren't a hugely influential band? I think I was pretty clear on what I like and don't like about them and why. I gave "Show No Mercy" and especially "Hell Awaits" raving reviews. I said things like "there is no denying Slayer's place in metal history," "this is one monumental and important album as far as it's place in heavy metal history", "you can hear Slayer's influence in much of 1990's thrash metal and you can also attribute much of the death metal genre to Reign in Blood" and "this is musically one great thrash metal opus". How much more praise can I heap on them to gain your approval? Just because I express my dislike of some of the lyrical ideas doesn't mean I dislike them. Every opinion has a place in the metal underground. If you stifle "religious influence or opinion", you'd have to get rid of a lot of great heavy metal. You obviously think that I have a bias, but your opinion about "religious influence or opinion having no place in the underground" is equally as biased, if not moreso. Your opinion is that of censorship, while mine is simply expressing what I like and dislike about some lyrical ideas.


Subject: Re: WTF???
On: Sun Sep 24 7:55

Okay man, you suck. In all the sense of the fucking word. Why? BECAUSE Def Leppard did not go entirely pop on the world. They kept a rocking sound to they're music. They just fused pop into some of the songs. Take Pour Some Sugar On Me. It's got a bit of pop, but still resides in the solo. Take Gods of War, that song has entirely rocking tunes in it. Or maybe Run Riot. Did you ever listen to the whole album??? Oh, BTW YOU DUMBASS, First Strike is a bootleg, RELEASED around the time of PYROMANIA. Actually shortly after if I am not mistaken. You really should read Animal Instinct: The Def Leppard Story written by David Fricke, editor for Rolling Stones, because that book will tell also that Me and My vWine made it on the Bringin On The Heartbreak Remix single release as a B-Side. And I'm not gonna lie however, you did one thing right, that the first two albums are pretty good. You got enough right, but some of the this shit mentioned is fairly common knowledge if you WOULD JUST LOOK IT UP!!!

That is all.

My reply:
Hello Timmy,
Thanks for the information regarding "Me and My Wine" and First Strike. Thanks as well for giving me another excellent installment in my Hall of Shame. Welcome to it!

"Pour Some Sugar On Me" has "a bit of pop"? Now, that's funny stuff.

A new entry into the Hall of Shame. You have to appreciate the intelligence of a person who can't form a sentence without using the same expletive more than once to get their point across. Too much fun.

Subject: TOSSER
Date: March 26, 2006
From: hij
Donation? You're dreaming knob. Why the f**k would anyone "donate" to keep the moronic "reviews" from a lame f**k afloat? Your idiocy is so apparent, so appallingly contradictory. DICK FOR BRAINS!!!

My reply:
Thanks for your poignant words of wisdom. Welcome to the Hall of Shame.

These quotes are hilarious and are exact quotes from a guy claiming to be an expert on heavy metal. The quotes are all taken from an ongoing dialogue I had with this guy about my NoLifeTilMetal.com site. Some of these are gut busting funny to anyone who knows metal. "Judas Priest are not heavy metal and the Beatles are a punk rock band." Bwahahahaha!!!

You don't know s**t about heavy metal! I do think my opinion carries weight since I've been into metal for 20+ years. My friend has been in it longer than I have by at least 5 years. So you're going up against 40+ years combined Metal expierence if you wanna "fight" about it! Why have Peter Gabriel on a metal page? Judas Priest are not heavy metal. They are hard rock! I like the song "Turbo Lover" and I appreciate the sentinent expressed in the song "Parental Guidance" but that's about it. I've heard their stuff from the 70's - musically it's just to dry to me anyways. It's not METAL in my book. I will certainly agree with HARD ROCK, just not METAL.

Judas Priest is BLUE OYSTER BAR METAL maybe? I will agree the album "TURBO" was much more metal than the stuff they did in the 70s. I HATE "Breaking the Law" -- what the heck is so "Metal" about THAT song? Judas Priest was always described with a term called "British Steel" - which to me was never fully "Metal". Frankly, I never fully considered Scorpions, Raven, or Trouble metal either. They have some Metal influence - but they often lack the "edge" that bands like Iron Maiden, Savatage, Manowar, etc. have.

In reply to your review saying Painkill is one of the genre's most complete albums of all time: Isn't PAINKILLER the album those guys did a cover of "Johnny B. Good" or whatever?

Actually Saxon was a blues based rock band basically. Which is why I never considered them metal. Most people would, and to be honest it doesn't bother me. They are heavy, but not metal. They are more hard rock to be precice.

SCORPIONS has SOME metal influence but I've never considered them metal. I rememebr the day when Iron Maiden fans used to beat up Scorpions fans for being poseurs. GLAM! HARD ROCK! ANYTHING but METAL! I DO LIKE some of the songs by the Scorpions but I just don't call 'em METAL! Anything BUT that. Hard Rock with "Metal" flavour MAYBE!

Led Zeppelin wasn't even close, they started classic rock, imo. The Beatles was just a happy happy joy joy punk rock band too.

I've always contended Iron Maiden were the true founders of Metal. The style was virtually nonexistent before they came on the scene. I would argue strongly that the other guys like Judas Priest and Black Sabbath are just "blues rock".

I heard Raven -- an album called "Mad" - I threw that in the POSEUR bin with Winger and Poison. Tesla leans more towards Glam Poseur Metal like Raven too.

When I read the interviews with the bands who MADE the Metal, such as Slayer, Maiden, Manowar, Savatage, etc. - most of those bands sight CLASSICAL as their inspiration, not blues. I go by what the bands themselves have said.

Black Sabbath may have laid the "Roots" of modern metal. But the groups who came to shape it were influenced by CLASSICAL COMPOSERS. Metal that is TRUE Metal sounds like CLASSICAL or else it's NOT METAL! If it
sounds like LED ZEPPLIN or BLACK SABBATH then it's BLUES and BLUES is NOT METAL. Sorry to but
in! I'm just tired of this "Led Zepplin & Black Sabbath started Metal" crap! You don't know sh*t about metal if you think Black Sabbath and Judas Priest started metal. Iron Maiden and Slayer were the first real metal bands.

Most people like you who believe Led Zepplin and Black Sabbath started metal are those who have spent too many years listening to the media. Slayer are not the "gods" of Metal, but bands like Slayer are the ones who molded and shaped Metal's TRUE form. I've always contended Iron Maiden were the true founders of Metal. The style was virtually nonexistent before they came on the scene. I would argue strongly that the other guys are just "blues rock".

One thing I will argue until the day I die is... if it has ANY "Blues" in it, IT'S NOT METAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't hear ANY "Blues" when I listen to "Mechanics of Perilous Times" for example -- THEREFORE, Ultimatum is METAL on that album.

I CAN see how people can argue Black Sabbath and Rainbow (WITH DIO) as being part of the roots of Metal. But definitely not Led Zepplin, Kiss, or Aerosmith. Aerosmith is a poseur glam rock pop band! They were NEVER "Heavy Metal" -- there was NEVER ANYTHING HEAVY about them. Metal has an edge they never possessed. Maiden was the first real band to have that "edge". I'm a total 80s kid! If it's got BLUES, it's NOT METAL!!!"

My only reply was to tell him to read my opening page paragraph:

OK, I know, there are some non-metal discs in this list. So-what!!! Sometimes I dig the Blues, somtimes I enjoy some old progressive rock like Yes & Genesis and...gasp!..sometimes even some Gospel music like Keith Green. Many metal bands were inspired by these artists. Variety is the spice of life, right!? Also I realize that by today's standards bands like Thin Lizzy and Aersomith are considered hard rock rather than heavy metal, but in the 70's these bands were heavy metal and were also the inspiration for many more modern metal bands.

Also, I don't really care if you don't like so-called "poser" bands like Slaughter and Cinderella or not. If you don't like them, and you only like the heavier stuff, then so be it, this is not your page, it's mine. So, please do not waste your time sending me insipid emails about how this band "sucks" or that band is for "posers," as I really don't care.

(The Faithful Heckler strikes again. These are hilarious. Gotta love the grammar!)

i just wanna call u a priss for talkin sh*t bout born again cover art it was the second best sabbath cover art next to mob rules if u wer'nt a dungeons and dragons pirssy u would know that hey u couldnt fight ur way through a wet paper bag u point dexter yeah go off an listen to rhapsody pull up a Stratovarius- cd u dwebe u talk bout ur mom on ur page why dont u go to ur mommy mammas boy yeah go cry to ur mommy u little sissy yeah

My reply:
Priss? Mammas Boy? Dude you are funny. You must have no life to waste your time writing to me about such drivel. I have no problem talking metal with people from around the globe and in fact get a ton of mail from metalheads. You are one of the few who can't find anything to agree on.

As for the Born Again cover, the artist who designed it thought it was the worst thing he ever created and only created it in the hopes that Tony Iommi would reject it. Don't believe me? It's fact. Ian Gillan despises that cover as well. It's juvenile. So say what you want, but even the artists who created the cover and the musicians behind the cover admit it's crap. Get a life!


(I found this one particularly funny. Hope you all enjoy it.)

From: Brandon Priebe
Date: Thursday, January 22, 2004 3:14 PM
Subject: You Are An Asshole

You obviously are some musician that never made it. You wouldn't know good music up it punched you in the face, which is what I want to do to you. The fact that you are able to do all of this means that you have no life. I am the biggest Def Leppard fan on the planet. You really do not know what you are talking about. When a band has sold over 40 million albums worldwide, and you say that they suck, you have a problem. Have you ever listen to a Queen album. I thought I would ask you that because they were not on your list. Did you ever notice that Queen and Def Leppard have the same guitar play. DEF LEPPARD WAS NEVER A HEAVY METAL BAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You say that they were harder when they were younger, everybody is harder when they are younger. They haven't learned how to truely play yet. If you listen to all of Def Leppard's albums, most of them sound different. OTTN and HND sound the same. Pyro was a little closer to Hysteria. Oh, by the way, wasn't Hysteria the biggest selling hard rock album of all time when it was released. Adrenalize sounded like Hysteria. RetroActive had its own sound. Slang had its own sound, I myself didn't really like it that much. Euphoria had more of a Hysteria sound. And X was more like RetroActive. The do what THEY want to do. Mutt Lange was like a member of the band. He brought them success. They never wanted to be a cult band. They wanted to be the biggest band in the world. And for a while they were. They wanted to be a mixture of The Who, Led Zeppelin, The Stones, and Queen. That is exactly what they were. If they are so bad, why are they always ranked in the tops when polls and countdowns are done. Why are their songs played so frequently. And why, when Poisen, Motely Crue, Whitesnake, Judas Priest, and Guns N Roses are all done are they still touring, and still successful. I saw them twice on the X tour. At the Palace of Auburn Hills, where the Pistons played, they filled it. At the age of 40 they are still amazing. Please contact me, I would love to argue with you some more. My e-mail is priebeb@student.gvsu.edu. Oh, and by the way It is Joe Elliot not Rick Elliot. The drummer is named Rick Allen and the bass player is Rick Savage. DUMBASS!!

My reply:
Thanks for catching the error on my Def Leppard page. Big old typo putting Rick instead of Joe Elliot. (Actually that is a pretty funny mistake.) Would have appreciated it a bit more had you not called me an Asshole though.

Thanks as well for giving me another mail to add to my Hall of Shame. The readers of my page will get a kick out of your letter.

When a band has sold over 40 million albums worldwide, and you say that they suck, you have a problem.

So has Micheal Jackson, N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, Korn, and Britney Spears. Hey, even 'ol Vanilla Ice sold a few million copies. He must be a musical god as well. I still say they suck! Album sales do not automatically equal good music. The public buys whatever the corporate big wigs push on them because they are to lazy to find real music. It's much easier to get CDs from Wal-Mart and get your music off MTV than to actually search around to see if there is anything better.

Allow me to quote part of my "Pyromania" review:

Of course, some ten million people disagree with me. By 1988 this album had already gone platinum seven times over. However, as we all know, the amount of album sales must equal the quality of the music, right? Yeah, right!

Have you ever listen to a Queen album. I thought I would ask you that because they were not on your list.

Look again, you missed them. They are there. I love Queen actually.

Mutt Lange was like a member of the band. He brought them success.

Yes he did. He turned them into the biggest sellouts in the history of heavy metal. Perhaps that is just my opinion, but that is all my site is, my opinion. He does have a hot wife though.

If they are so bad, why are they always ranked in the tops when polls and countdowns are done.

Because they are a pop band and appeal to the massive pop crowd. More power to 'em if that is what they want to do.

You obviously are some musician that never made it.

Cliché! That is what anyone who can't take criticism says. Actually I am a musician and I still have a blast playing the music that I enjoy. Do I play to the large State Fair crowds that Def Leppard is currently playing to? No. So what! I am a musician because I love to play, not because I am concerned with selling more records than the next big act.

Frankly, my site is my opinion. If you don't like it, don't read it. I am glad that Def Leppard has brought you so much enjoyment and am glad that you like them so much. That is your opinion. It doesn't have to agree with mine.

God Bless,

(This one is as it was sent to me, capitalization, spelling and all.)

Saturday, March 22, 2003 4:20 PM
hello stupip...so you say that the GOD Max band soulfly is crap???and nu-metal raps and craps???so i question myself why you have that album?are you are no brain that dont understand metal?well i think so... you have no f**kin respect,saying that chino moreno and the deftones play rap???hey f**ker...WAKE UP!!! The deftones play alternative rock and not rap and are you really a metal guy?LOL you're favourite band is aerosmith...lol no it's Phill collins...lol chut up man! I start listening heavy metal ten years ago and i developed more metal personallity than you...the first is respect the sound and the music and the people that listens and that people that made the music!in certain bands you talk like a really a** hole!!! if you were in the bisness you already have listen portuguese metal bands too like MOONSPELL;RAMP or the veterans gods from here like TARANTULA!!! respect ypu're metal whatever he is and i love nu-metal amd i dont have any thing wrong about it and i finish this with this thinking:a site with opinions about metal albuns?opinions every a** hole has its just one more...love and respect every metal if you spoil ypu minorize...bye
Filipe Vieira

My reply:
Before calling someone "stupid", you may want to invest in a dictionary or learn how to type. It's a shame that on a site with over 3000 heavy metal and hard rock CDs you couldn't find anything we agree on, but rather had to write a letter as sad, insipid and debasing as the one (you wrote).

(Once again, this is exactly the way these emails were written, capitalization, spelling and all. This has been an ongoing mail from one who I am now calling the Faithful Heckler.)

whoever wrote these cd passeges is a moron im givin that dork a wedge if i ever see him ... it says here accept is 1 of the heavest bands of the 80's hey man what world do u live in ? r u mental i just think u gota hard on 4 udo ...

My reply:
Perhaps learning how to type would be in order before writing such an inane insult.

Name a few songs that came out in or before 1983 that was as fast and furious as "Fast as a Shark." There weren't a whole lot. What is your point of writing me these insipid emails? If you don't like my site, then don't go to it.

u heard of destruction or kreator accept aint heavy an fast as a shark was a fruity song ur just a poser that likes everything the band put out regardless of what it sounds like u have no mind of ur own restless an wild had like 3 good songs an u wanna nut in udo's face when u hear it u need to grow up an take a step into the real world of heavy metal

My reply:
Accept was a precursor to German thrash bands like Kreator and Destruction. Two bands I also like and have on my site. The fact is, Accept were one of Germany's heaviest imports. "Restless and Wild" is a great album from beginning to end. The very fact that you called "Fast as a Shark" a fruity song, shows me you have no respect for metal history, being this as one of the earliest songs to incorporate a steady, fast double bass beat. Thus the reason so many bands have covered this classic song. Why do you waste your time writing these insipid mails? If you don't like my page, stop reading it. Do you have a metal web page?

ive never heard a kings x studio song but i heard em play with dio an they were without a dout the worst band ive ever heard they were so fuckin anoying they were the first band i walked out of in the first couple of tunes i wanted to cut off that guys toung 4 bein such a menace i know u like em its probly cause u wouldnt know good tunes if they hit u in the ass

My reply:
Hello my faithful heckler,
Well, there is something we can agree on. I recently saw King's X with Hammerfall and Dio too, and they sucked! Their sound was awful. Doug Pinnick, their bassist, had so many sound problems that by the third song he slammed his bass down on the ground, and walked off stage. As I said, it sucked. However, I like their studio albums and have heard that they are usually great in concert. They have their own unique sound. I think they are just the wrong type of music for a Dio/Hammerfall tour.

As for this comment, "i know u like em its probly cause u wouldnt know good tunes if they hit u in the ass" What is your problem? If you hate my site and my opinions so much, why do you keep reading it and writing me?